The X Factor - Auditions

So, yesterday I spent my day in the audience of the third and final day at the Manchester X-Factor auditions and, wow, I think I saw a potential winner, a definite-to-make-the-telly double-act and, of course, many of Manchester's finest, fishwife-esque loud-mouths screaming away at the judges - the new line-up of Gary Barlow, Kelly Rowland, Tulisa from N-Dubz and the familiar presence of Louis Walsh - and the 'talent' or lack thereof.

Firstly, to the potential winner: an Anglo-American woman of 35 who has a fantastic voice. The lady in question, Beverly (born in Tottenham, London, raised in America, now back in England), sang the Minnie Ripperton hit Loving You in note-perfect fashion (yes, even that ridiculously high bit was perfect) and, as they always say 'this is a singing contest', it is worth mentioning that this lady is the finest singer I have ever seen stroll on to the X Factor stage. Fantastic.

Secondly, on to the two young chaps from Bradford. The guys did a superbly funny rendition of a Justin Timberlake song and that new Drake one (the names of both escape me at the moment), with the shorter, geekier one lurching into raps every so often. Very, very funny.


In with the New... The Class of 2011

The crowd were, well, like you'd imagine a British X Factor crowd to be. Loud, lairy and constantly booing, cheering and gasping where appropriate (or not). Mainly made up of females between 16 and 40, the audience had a wonderful array of exclamations to make for home town judge Barlow from "We love you Gary" to, rather crudely, "I wanna sit on his (Barlow's) lap and spin on his cock" from one rather over-zealous 30-something.

In all it was a great audition day and an insight into how the show is put together, even if it all is a little kitsch. Also Kelly Rowland is bloody gorgeous and Tulisa's not too shabby either. Don't worry I didn't shout out any crude fantasies though.